By John Ballard
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From: George W. Bush [gwb@*******]
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2009 11:04 PM
To: Barack H. Obama [barry@*******]
Subject: Pointers
Mr. President,
I wanted to pass along three pointers from Boy Genius. His advice served me well for 8 yrs.
1. Either appoint incompetent department heads, or burden your department secs with bureaucracies so cumbersome that nobody could make them work. Since it's inception, Homeland Security has served the second aim quite well.
2. When something goes wrong, wait for our side to demand that the government authorize more spending on military/security contracts/ technologies. You ought to give in to this demand because it will not only make your friends richer, it will show the public that you are serious.
3. Being a Dem, you should probably propose bringing terror suspects to justice. Then just wait. Wait for our side to demand that you orchestrate an end run around the justice system. This is an invitation for you and your team to seize power from other branches of government (i.e. the power to arrest and detain people away from judges and the justice system). Yes, our side will demand you seize greater power for yourself. Suggest you accept the offer.
The key is to realize that no failure ever need be blamed on your own leadership team (unless it involves a sex scandal). Your side and our side have an unwritten understanding that the problem is always
1) that the president has been forced to share/dilute his power (during wartime no less!) with other branches of government; and
2) that there has been too little public investment in security/mil/tech. Suggest you talk about the need for bipartisanship on matters of national security (i.e. take your cues from our side).
So long as you don't try to be too effective, there will be failures and> perceived failures. Each time you flunk out, our side will demand that more power be into your hands and more contracts will go to your friends and ours. To sum up: Don't try to overachieve. I didn't.
Know that Laura and I deeply appreciate that your patriotism and honor. We will always be grateful to you. In four years, we expect to have you and Michelle over at the ranch. :)
God Bless
George
P.S. Don't pay any attention to Dick, he's a jerk.
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