The Dangers of an Alien/Al Qaeda Alliance

By Steve Hynd

I keep seeing op-eds by pro-escalation advocates which have some variance on the theme of "We must double down in Afghanistan to prevent Al Qaeda seizing Pakistan's nukes", although how exactly the U.S. is going to manage that from the neighbouring country is beyond me. Seems to me that the warmongers can't quite bring themselves to say "we invaded the wrong place" because they know that would destroy any credibility they have left.

But how credible is the threat of AQ getting its hands on Pakistan's nukes, really? You'll notice, if you read their "expert" opinions, that none of the warmongering Villagers actually sets out a scenario for it to happen. That's because it isn't very likely at all. Indeed, the prospect is a vanishingly small one.

For Al Qaeda to seize even one Pakistani nuclear device, they would have to penetrate the several rings of security set up by the fifth largest military machine on Earth at at least two different locations - Pakistan keeps its nukes in pieces, triggers seperate from fissionable core - and then manage to steal or otherwise aquire the trigger codes which are one of Pakistan's most closely guarded military secrets.

To steal the whole arsenal, Al Qaeda - a group, remember, that is nowadays estimated to have somewhere between 100 and eight members in Pakistan - would have to not only overthrow the Pakistani government but also subvert that massive military, with its Sandhurst-trained officer corps and its investments in housing, businesses and such that amounts to over half Pakistan's economy. And it would have to do all that when far less than half the Pakistani population approve of even its current actions, never mind want it in charge. All while the entire rest of the world, including Pakistan's closest military and economic ally, China, sat on its hands and let it happen.

The warmongers would do better to worry about an alien race giving Al Qaeda nukes. After all, in a nearly infinite universe there's a chance that somewhere there's a race with the ability to travel between the stars and a jihadic philosophy that would recognise Al Qaeda as its closest kindred spirit. It's a slim chance, perhaps, but it's still more likely than Al Qaeda seizing Pakistan's nukes.

And the war-porn set could use the fear of an alien/Al Qaeda alliance to resurrect their dearly beloved and recently departed Star wars dreams of weaponizing space, to the great benefit of the military and arms corporations that pay them to think. Win!