By John Ballard
For your New Year's reading enjoyment, a reprint here from UAE Community Blog, 2006. I came across this while digging around for anything about Yemen.
The Moo Story
SOCIALISM:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
NAZISM:You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
AN EGYPTIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. Both are voting for Hosni Mubarak!!!!
DUBAI SYSTEM:You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.
QATAR SYSTEM:You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cow in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM:Since milking the cow involves nipples the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow in on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other.
BAHRAIN SYSTEM:You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to milk all the cows at the same time so cut back on unemployment.
LEBANON SYSTEM:You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.
And from the comments thread...
Zionism: You had had no cows since the Romans took the last one from your ancestors 2000 years ago. One day you have a vision of Jewish cows mooing in Jerusalem, so you sell your jewelry business and move there. You force yourself into your neighbor�s farm and you kick the Arab family out at gunpoint. You call the place home, change the farm�s name from Mazra�at Mahmoud Abdulhadi to Blooming Desert kibbutzim, and the cows� names from Fatima and Leila to Rachel and Shoshana. You train one cow to work as an assassin with the Mossad and you give the other cow to your relatives who just arrived from Russia and decided to settle into yet another Arab farm nearby. You then go to America crying for help and generous Uncle Sam gives you 40 cows and a kiss on the ass.
Yemen - You had a cow. It got kidnapped.
Palestine: You have 1 holy cow. Christians, Jews and Muslims couldn�t agree on how to share the blessing; they ripped the cow to pieces. You now have milk and blood spelled everywhere and a very dead cow.
The world's tallest building is currently the Burj Dubai.
Gulf News has a fluff piece with several videos for anyone with idle time and an interest in construction trivia.
This one (two and a half minutes) caught my attention.
Pretty funny. Except your choice of title for the post that is. You realize that the Golf region is not in what is called the Levant. Would you mind the US being called caribbean just because it happens to share the same continent with the Caribbean?
ReplyDeleteGood point. I stand corrected. It should have been "MENA Humor" but Levantine is obscure enough for most readers and needs wider usage.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your comment will sharpen a few dull quills in addition to mine.
(Just for the fun of it, I'll let your typo stand -- Golf for Gulf.)
Thanks for being a good sport. Didn't spot the typo because in some languages (like the one I grew up with), the area is indeed called the Golf rather than the Gulf.
ReplyDelete