Three Types of Terrorism -- Political, Financial and Environmental

By John Ballard

Feeling a bit down lately?
Life in a slump?
What you need is a bracing screed to stir your brains.

Adam Ash is a pseudonym for Evert Cilliers. I've linked him before.
His take on politics and current events is to journalism what Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano is to air transportation.
Reader advisory -- this piece is over ten thousand words. I just printed it out to 12 pages.
No, I haven't read the whole thing yet but I already know I will.
And I will enjoy every sentence in the same way that a bulimic adolescent eats a gallon of high-butterfat content ice cream. 

Here's the link.
Here's a sample.

So Obama helped BP to screw us, like he's helping Goldman Sachs to continue screwing us, and helping Al Qaeda to recruit new foot soldiers every day, even among our own population. If Bush-Cheney were superduper-heavy terrorist enablers, Obama is somewhere between lite and super-medium-heavy.

However, in one little instance, it does look like Obama got both his balls back -- after one of them had been banged rather blue by the Health Reform battle, and the other nicked with little cuts all over it in the financial reform struggle against Wall Street.

Obama met with BP and got them to agree to put up the money for a no-cap $20 billion escrow fund, run by an independent third party, and another extra $100 million set aside for oil workers who are unemployed because of the moratorium, and the billions in dividends they were going to pay their shareholders will now be withheld for the next three quarters.

Well, well, well.

One wonders why BP bent over that much. Methinks Obama might have let slip a few details from his emergency plan to take BP America into receivership, as former Labor Secretary Robert Reich has been urging. Or perhaps he reminded them of the many lucrative contracts they have with the US government. These are the only explanations I have for this dramatic outcome. After all, Congress was pushing for lifting the cap from $75 million to $10 billion, and here Obama gets them to pony up $20 billion as a no-cap down payment.

So what happens? Obama is accused by some oil flunky Senator and various Fox News nutters of �shaking down� BP. I should bloody well hope he shook down BP. I wish he had the balls to shake down Goldman Sachs, too. And Citigroup. And while he's at it, step on the nuts and bolts of a few GOP folk whose collective IQs don't add up to anything higher than the temperature in your freezer. These GOP belly-achers with their tongues knee-deep up BP's oily sphincter have also proclaimed that Obama has now created a big �slush fund� that lobbyists will divert to various nefarious interests.

What can one say? Your standard-issue Obama haters will mouth anything that springs to mind. I'm amazed we haven't been informed by them that our President has a forked tongue and a scabby tail and goat hooves, all of which he hides from us through some teleprompter trick, plus he's got 666 tattooed on his third nipple, and cuts noxious farts powered by fumes emanating from the bowels of Hell itself.

Getting $20 billion for the fishermen and hotel owners and other citizens at the short end of the BP stick ... isn't that what a President is for, dammit? Remember Teddy Roosevelt? He busted the trusts, who complained bitterly, just like the GOP-BP people are kvetching now. But Teddy had greater testicular fortitude than them. Now that Obama has �shaken down� BP, we finally know this for an absolute fact: Obama's gonads can swell to maximum size in an emergency, even if they're still small enough to fit into the pockets of Goldman Sachs.