By John Ballard
Alphonse Allais (1854-1905), the French writer and humorist...once wrote: " Il faut prendre l'argent l��se trouve, c'est-�ire chez les pauvres. Bon d'accord, ils n'ont pas beaucoup d'argent, mais il y a beaucoup de pauvres."
("One must take the money where it is to be found; that is, from the poor. Well, okay, they don't have much money, but there are lots of them.").
Plenty of blood to suck, indeed -- let's have it all, ALL.
Get ready. We're on the way. My own view is that unless something unforeseen happens this time next year the percentage of Americans not paying income tax will have risen from about forty percent (where it now stands) to over half the country. At some point it will become clear that nothing is left. Ninety cents out of every new dollar is accruing to the top few percent of the population and everyone else is forced to live on the remaining dime. Medicare will become a federalized super-Medicaid as lifetime savings representing meager nest eggs get spent down as more people join the ranks of the card-carrying poor.
Check out what the Swans Commentary imagination expects.
- Having discovered the homosexual connotation of "Tea Party," the new movement changes its name to the "Pee Party." Alternative slogans such as "Don't Pee on Me" or "To Pee or Not To Pee" are fiercely discouraged.
- With the crash of home values, unemployment, the loss of pensions, dire prospects for Social Security, and the rising cost of health care, 80 becomes the new 65. Given that 80-year-olds are better educated than 20-year-olds, the competition for jobs makes 20 the new 90.
- The surviving victims of US torture squads form a choir. They are invited to the White House on the tenth anniversary of the September 11 attacks and agree to sing "God Bless America." Their band accompanies them on the xylophone and water board.
- To avoid putting his foot in his mouth, the Democratic Party subsidizes an operation to seal Joe Biden's lips once and for all. That done, Biden becomes a master of sign language and continues to exasperate his fellow Democrats.
- After Chernobyl opens to tourism, the US Gulf Coast follows suit by offering SCUBA diving excursions in the dead coral reefs, walking tours of the oil-rich marshes, and gourmet courses on cooking with contaminated cuisine. Investors flock to the emerging market in the disaster tourism industry, guaranteed to stimulate the global economy with its limitless opportunities.
- A scientist, right out of his laboratory, admits (in April or May) that capitalism has failed as an economic system. He will declare all the same that it's worth going on with the experiment another decade or two because capitalism, being so destructive, could turn out to be a valid cure for itself, especially in the present situation in which the patient (the whole world) is so debilitated that he could take only homeopathic medicine. The scientist will be given the Nobel Prize in Economics in 2012, after having corrected the word "decade" to "century."
- With growing food shortages in the USA, General Foods recycles human excrement and Americans eat shit.
And yes, lots more at the link.
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